"Go right to sleep because you can’t sleep in tomorrow…. or any other day for the rest of your life."
- My Kindergarten Eve Peptalk to my 4yo
Anonymous said: Why do you want to be a comedian?
the free stool with a glass of water on it
Couch surfing means being really awkward when morning wood won’t go away.
Can’t fap in someone else’s lounge room. Especially when someone is lounging.